Doing anything for the first time is daunting enough. Doing ‘it’ for the first time is an experience laden with so much potential for embarrassment that I don’t even know where to begin. Disappointment is a racing certainty it would seem. The names of those involved have been changed in order to avoid further heartache.

I think in my teenage years ‘it’ was considered something to be gotten out of the way. If there was a ministry for sexual quality then I would have been arrested and well hung (arf!!), in the end I was neither.

I have a habit of putting too many words into very small space but on this occasion I think it works but as usual poor Phil ends up tumbling over them and struggling for breath, so a bit like my first time really (wow this is gold).